Happy Anniversary
by Hiiro-No-Ame
Summary: Toni and Steve have managed to make it for a month, but when a person from Steve's past show up will they be able to keep going? Warning Fem IronMan Sides of Hawkeye/Black Widow, and Thor/Jane
1. Chapter 1

Toni trudged down the stairs groggily, and made her way into the kitchen quietly. The room was empty, screaming loudly that Toni was up way too early for her normal schedule. She brushed the silence off sleepily, and set about making the strongest coffee she could brew. She watched the coffee drip into the pot slowly like the addict she was, and mentally calculated how long it would take for the coffee to brew and –in a fit of sleep deprived madness- momentarily contemplated eating the beans themselves. She dismissed the disgusting idea quickly, and continued watching the coffee drip into the pot sluggishly.

The early morning sun was starting to inch its way above the horizon, and Toni watched silently as it began its daily journey above the horizon. She glanced over her shoulder to the bright green glow of the microwave clock, 5:15 flashed at her annoyingly. She swore under her breath, and padded her way over to the fridge. Toni opened the door and was blasted by a rush of icy air that flowed around her body in freezing waves.

"Jarviiiiis," her voice crept out in a hoarse whisper. Interrupting the silence that surrounded the kitchen.

"Miss Stark? May I enquire as to why you're up at this hour?"

Toni grinned a bit and started pulling food from the fridge, "one month anniversary." Surprised silence greeted her words, and Toni mentally congratulated herself on being able to confuse the smartest computer she had ever created. Hell even Toni was slightly confused about why this whole thing was a good idea; after all Toni wasn't the kind of woman to give two cents about the one month or God forbid one week anniversaries. Once a year was plenty good for her thank you very much. That was precisely how she had intended to keep her relationship with Steve. No big girly freak out every month, or week, or every friggin day. She saw no need to bug him with unnecessary relationship stress in the form of over excited female needs and wants. She knew they all had more than enough on their plate with Loki running about being a prick. So she hadn't expected to bring it up. Much to Toni's surprise however, Steve had been the one to bring up their first month anniversary.

She had been working in her lab with Steve beside her, drawing softly in his old sketch book. The scritch of the charcoal on paper was a surprisingly soothing sound as she worked on modifying Steve's uniform. She was so used to endless solitude, and his presence was a pleasant and slightly unexpected, change in her work routine. Part of her expected to be annoyed by the presence of another person in her space, but she should have known that Steve would manage to fit in seamlessly. Toni had been meticulously threading hair thin adamantium wires through the sturdy material that made up Steve's uniform when he brought it up casually.

"You know tomorrow," he glanced up at her from his sketching a bit shyly, "we'll have been together for a month." A slight blush graced his cheeks as Toni looked over at him surprise plainly written all over her face. He smiled warmly, and brushed his fingers across her knuckles lightly, "we could go celebrate. I'm sure we could find a fair nearby."

Toni took off her work gloves slowly, and leaned against the table in what she hoped was a casual way. She didn't know how to react; she'd never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a quickie. She grinned nonchalantly and shrugged her shoulders, "we don't have to Steve," she hooked her pinky around his affectionately; "I know guys don't really go for that sort of thing. We'll just stay home."

His blue eyes roved over her showing surprised and just a bit of hurt, "you don't want to go out and celebrate?" He sounded unsure, and a bit confused. It bothered Toni more than she would ever admit to hear insecurity in Steve's normally confident voice because of her. She could never stand to see him any way but his cheery confident self.

"That's not it." Toni shifted and stood in between his legs gracefully; smiling pleasantly when his strong arms instantly went around her waist, and his hands hooked together there anchoring her to him like she belonged right there. "I'm just saying you don't have to take me out. I wouldn't mind if you did. In fact I think it would be great."

Steve smiled brightly, and Toni was rendered speechless with the knowledge that gorgeous smile was all for her, "That's great Natasha! We can go to a restaurant," his voice was getting more excited with every word that spilled out of him, "and walk around the city."

Toni rested her head against his shoulder and smiled contently. He had called her Natasha again; she couldn't deny him anything when he said her name. Steve wants an alien puppy from Pluto? If he said her name she'd make it happen, no questions asked. Not that she'd ever let that little bit of information free to the world.

So here she was at 5 in the morning trying to make Steve breakfast. Toni shook her head bemused, and clumsily cracked some eggs into a bowl, she knew she wasn't much of a cook, if she was going to be completely honest she was a terrible cook, but she'd be damned if she couldn't make Steve an omelet, or at the very least scrambled eggs. She whisked the eggs slowly, and sprayed some non stick stuff Banner swore by on the frying pan. She added tomatoes, bacon, and cheese to the whipped eggs before pouring them into the pan and setting the burner to a low heat. She watched the pan curiously, after all how hard could it be for a genius like her to make a giant egg?

The coffee pot emitted a loud ding; making Toni scurry over to it like a drug addict at a rave. The rich aroma steamed up around her face as she poured the life giving liquid into her Captain America mug -which, she stubbornly insisted to everyone that would listen, she had bought before Steve came into her life- then proceeded to pour in copious amounts of cream and sugar. The early morning chill in the house ran across her bare arms, and ruffled about inside her red sleeping shorts as Toni rested her hip comfortably against the stainless steel counter, then sleepily stirred her sugary concoction together.

Toni moved over to the stove, and unsuccessfully tried to flip the eggs lying there into an omelet. After several failed attempts and a narrowly avoided mishap with the flame, she mashed them into scrambled eggs with a slight pout; so much for trying to be fancy. She dragged more bacon out of the fridge, and started to fry it carefully, wincing every time the hot grease popped against her sensitive hands. She turned her head, and glimpsed at the clock curiously 5:50. A sliver of anticipation made its way down her spine; Steve would be back anytime now from his run. Toni shook her head slightly, she had no idea how he managed to get up at the butt crack of dawn go running, get back before everyone woke up, and still manage to have the best attitude about everything. If she had to keep that type of schedule on top of all the other genius, philanthropist things she did, she'd kill something.

She stretched until her muscles ached, and yawned softly. The kitchen was silent, except for her breathing and the little chirps of the birds that were just beginning to rise with the sun. Toni poured the eggs onto a clean plate and dumped the bacon unceremoniously next to them. She scuttled over to the table and set it carefully; utilizing what little knowledge she had about fancy place settings. Toni fiddled with it carefully for a few minutes until she was certain it was absolutely perfect.

"Jarvis, put on some swing music, or whatever you can find from the 40's that's not obnoxious."

"Of course Miss Stark, any particular songs in mind?"

"Not a damn clue Jarvis, just play something swing-ie."

Light jazzy music flowed through the speakers around kitchen. Somehow the music managed to sound like it was coming through an old radio, even through her hi-tech speakers. Toni wasn't much of a slow music person, but the music practically screamed Steve's name. Toni pictured old cars and propaganda posters, men walking around in uniform with a nicely dressed girl on their arm. She could see Steve in his uniform walking with a group of friends, and sitting in a bar listening to the latest music from a beat up jukebox, and the room filled with hushed conversation and laughter. She could imagine everyone being happy, even though it was war time; their pride in the soldiers and their country keeping a bright smile on their faces.

Toni looked out the window and tapped her toe with the airy music softly. The time seemed so much more relaxed, no one in such a hurry or constantly on a cell phone; people actually conversing with one and other. With this small glimpse into his world, she could understand why he was so patriotic. He came from a time when it was worth it to be patriotic. She smiled a bit, but he still needed to lose the stripes.

She was so lost in her fantasy world, that she didn't hear the footsteps that pattered into the kitchen. Toni didn't notice Steve had walked into the kitchen until he wrapped his strong arms around her and swayed softly to the music. The scent of old spice and propaganda surrounded her comfortingly.

Toni looked over her shoulder and smiled warmly at him, "morning Steve."

He kissed her cheek softly, "Good morning Natasha, what's all this?"

She blushed slightly when her name tumbled out of his lips, "Happy anniversary." She held her hands over his, and rested her arms against his lightly where they held her waist. Steve leaned closer and rested his chin against her shoulder softly. His honey hair tickled her cheek and his strong body stole the chill from her. They stood comfortably together for a few moments before Steve swooped her up in his arms suddenly.

Toni squeed from surprise and clung to him as he walked them over to the table. He sat down happily and pulled her in his lap softly, she smiled and kissed him quickly, knowing Steve was more uptight about P.D.A then she was (not that it was hard to be), and she didn't want to embarrass him if one of the others walked in… at least not today.


	2. Chapter 2

They sat together in comfortable silence for a while, Steve feeding her between bites of his own food. The music swirled around them languidly, and cocooned them in their own little world. Toni resting against Steve, his arm around her waist, and his muscles flexing whenever he moved.

"Well aren't you two just sweet?"

Toni and Steve jumped when Clint's voice rang out, breaking their cocoon of solitude. Toni arched her brow and laughed at Clint's goofy smile, "don't be hate-in Clint."

"I'm doin no such thing," he ducked into the fridge in search of food, "I'm just saying you guys are adorable."

Steve blushed but continued to hold her and Toni stayed reclined against him comfortably. They stayed in their position while Clint rummaged around noisily.

"Hey," he suddenly looked at Toni then the clock and then Toni again, "what the hell are you doing up? It's not afternoon yet."

"I made food."

"You," Clint began incredulously, "made food? You? Toni Stark made actual food?"

Toni pouted and was about to retort when Steve looked up at Clint sharply, "Leave her alone Clint."

He held up his hands in a pacifying gesture, "meant no harm Cap. I was just pointing out that my buddy isn't usually out of bed until we're all eating lunch."

"Be that as it may," Steve ran his fingers through Toni's wild hair softly, "I don't appreciate you making fun of her Clint. Toni's a woman you should treat her better than that; she also deserves our respect for keeping all the equipment running."

Toni blushed furiously from Steve's praise and smiled at him goofily.

"Well Said Captain of all things American," Thor walked in the room, clad in a pair of red flannel bottoms. Toni smiled at them thinking about how long it had taken all of them to explain to Thor why he couldn't just walk around naked when he woke up. The best part of those long months was the look on Steve and Clint's faces whenever they happened to walk in the kitchen to find Thor lounging around naked. Not that Toni really minded; it wasn't like Thor was a troll. Thor patted Toni's head fondly as he passed her on his way to the fridge.

Clint plopped down next to Steve and Toni, and pulled an apple out of the bowl sitting on the table, "has anyone seen Nat?"

"Fury needed her to file paperwork for our last mission. She won't be back until later," Steve's eyes never strayed from his paper as he answered Clint politely. He did however pull Toni a little closer to him and kiss her cheek softly.

Clint pouted a bit and went back to cleaning his apple off, he glanced over at Toni subtly and grinned, "you two goin out today?"

Toni arched a brow at him and smiled in false sweetness, "what's it to you? Getting jealous there Clint?"

He laughed lowly, "Oh yea real jealous Toni, especially when Steve has a lap full of you. Half naked and wigglin."

They laughed together, as Steve gave Clint a disapproving look, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't joke about Toni like that Clint. It's a horrible jab at her character."

Toni smiled delightedly at Steve's attempt to salvage her character. Not that she really needed him to; there wasn't anything wrong with her. At least she didn't think there was.

"Well put Captain of all things America," Thor winked at Toni a bit from his place at the fridge and continued rummaging around for whatever caught his fancy, "though it comes to mind that Toni might not need such help from the man with eyes like hawks."

Toni laughed at the exasperated expressions on Clint and Steve's faces. She knew Thor didn't find it necessary to call them by their "titles" all the time, but he found it fun to wind them up.

"Why does she get to be called Toni," Clint muttered mutinously as he got up and walked past them to get coffee.

She stuck her tongue out at him childishly, and ignored Steve's amused chuckle from next to her. She, personally, thought it was hilarious that Thor kept calling people by ridiculous titles.

Thor and Toni shared a warm smile as he walked out of the kitchen, arms laden with boxes of pop tarts and Captain Crunch. She knew that without these two idiots Steve and her would still be arguing, and she might actually be dead. Prey to the ocean that stormed around her home.

Toni shook off her negative thoughts and got out of Steve's lap, amused by his barely there pout. "I'm going to go get dressed for our date." She said by way of explanation. His pout lifted instantly, and he kissed her softly.

Across the kitchen Clint let out an amused chuckle, which instantly earned him a protective glare from Steve. Toni laughed a bit breathlessly and walked out of her kitchen. She glided to her room, and set about getting ready for the day.

She rummaged through her draws sloppily trying to find the one dress she owned that wasn't formal and stuffy as hell. Her room was littered with clothes, mostly in bright shades of red and gold (it was not obsessive). They were draped across her bed and over lamps, hiding books and blueprints that were strewn about the floor messily. The clothes covered remnants of her half thought out ideas, barely put down on paper. Clothes flew around her, until she finally uncovered the dress.

The dark blue satin reminded her of Steve's eyes, and accented her wild brown hair. She tugged in on quickly, the glossy material swirled around her knees playfully, and clung to her waist and chest in soft folds. The thin sleeves hung around her shoulders seductively. The dress made her feel more like a woman than an engineer.

She looked at herself in the mirror for a few moments, and then suddenly felt ridiculous. She was in a dress for God's sake. Like some preppy, brainless… twit trying to catch the quarterback. Toni ran a hand thru her already messy hair, what was she thinking? She was no were near feminine enough to wear a dress. She was about to pull it off and put on worn out jeans when a soft knock sounded at her door.

She turned to the door and stared it curiously for a few seconds, "come in."

The door opened noiselessly, and was filled to the brim with Thor's large frame. He smiled at her reassuringly, somehow guessing what was running through her mind, "that shade of colour looks good on you Toni. The son of Rogers won't be able to keep his eyes off of your form."

Toni smile was a bit strained but she covered up her insecurities quickly, "of course not, I'm gorgeous." Her tone didn't quite match the cocky words, but she hardly cared. She wasn't really trying to impress, anyone…right?

Thor smiled kindly at her, "I wouldn't mind conceding with you on that point Toni, thought I have already found a woman who suits my needs," and grabbed the brush that was lying haphazardly on her nightstand. He strode over powerfully, and began to brush through her curly hair gently. "Calm yourself Toni. The son of Rogers has been anticipating your outing for several fortnights. You will do nothing to displease him."

Toni nodded slightly, letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and let Thor brush her hair until it shone under the dull lights surrounding them. She waited patiently while he made two small braids on either side of her head; he then pulled out a small gold pin. The round metal was designed with Asgardian symbols and runes. None of which Toni could ever hope to decipher. He pulled the braids to the back of her head softly, and pinned them there carefully with it. "This is a token of luck for your 'battle' Toni. Heed me and wear it well."

She smiled at him, and was reassured by his gentle words. Thor finished his worked silently, making sure the pin was in place with a warriors precision, "In Asgard we give small gifts to warriors when they go to battle for luck. So that they may live to return them to us. This is my token to you Toni. May you return it after a battle well fought." He patted her shoulder comfortingly, and quietly lumbered out of her room, off to finish his pop tarts.

Toni stared into her mirror for a few moments, mulling over Thor's words in her head. Battle? This was hardly a battle. "I got this," she told herself quietly. She watched herself in the mirror for a few more moments, something Rhodey said echoing in her mind softly.

"You always say that Toni. But sometimes I wonder, do you really 'got this?'"

She shook her head slightly and walked away from the mirror. Determined not to let any of her stupid insecurities ruin this day for Steve. Though a small part of her mind pointed out, that maybe she didn't want to ruin it for herself either.

She quickly pulled on a pair of low black heels, then walked out of her room pensively. She walked through the halls slowly, her arch reactor glowing slightly through the smooth material of her dress. She waited out in the hall quietly, hoping that this wasn't going to turn into some kind of nightmare. Steve was so excited by the idea of them going out, Toni could only hope and pray she didn't royally fuck it up somehow.

Footsteps thumped slowly into the room, stopping just inside the doorway to the hall. Toni turned her head, and couldn't keep her mouth from falling open a bit when she caught sight of Steve. His golden hair was combed back carefully from his face, and he was clad in the most wonderfull fitting pair of jeans Toni had ever seen on a man in her entire existence. An olive green button up, that reminded her of an old military dress shirt complete the outfit spectacularly.

Toni ogled him happily, quite aware of the shy blush that graced his cheeks handsomely. "You clean up rather well Captain."

Steve smiled, and walked towards her taking in the sight of her in something other than sweats and a wife beater, "I'd have to say the same to you Miss. Stark. You look beautiful." He cupped her face lightly and kissed her tenderly. Toni blushed and kissed him back happily, as his strong arms encased her carefully. She could feel the power in them, and loved being held captive by him. Not something that she would ever admit to the general public, but it was certainly a welcome thought in her head.

"Damn you two are adorable."

Toni and Steve jumped apart quickly, and looked over to see Clint leaning against the wall with a shit eating grin firmly affixed on his face.

"Seriously," he teased, "you guys give me cavities."  
Toni rolled her eyes a bit, "Don't you have something better to do? Namely Natasha? Somewhere else, like in your room?" Toni was privately amused at Steve's embarrassed stutter when she mentioned Clint's sex life.

"She's not back yet," he shot back with a slight frown looking at the door, "she was supposed to be back half an hour ago."

Toni furrowed her brow and looked up at Steve. His eyes were stormy and slight worry laced his voice when he addressed Clint, "have you heard anything from her?"

Clint opened his mouth, and the door swung open revealing a slightly harassed Natasha in all her black leathered glory. She looked at Toni and Steve and then at the door, "Why the hell aren't you two gone yet?"

"Sure kick me out of my own house," Toni deadpanned at her, "it's not like I own it or anything."

Natasha shook her head a little frantically for the normally emotionless woman. "You guys got to go. Now. Fury's coming." She looked over at Toni, "it's not gonna be good."

Toni laughed a bit, trying to mask how the nervous feeling crawling around in her stomach at Natasha's words, "bad? What's he gonna do? Kick me out of my own house too?"

Toni felt Steve's arm come around her shoulder's comfortingly, she leaned back against him and smiled when his soothing voice washed over them, "What exactly is Commander Fury doing Natasha?"

Toni felt a momentary pang of insecure jealousy when he said her name to a different Natasha. She tried to shake it off quickly; after all, didn't she hate that name? That's why she'd been called Toni since she could remember.

Natasha shook her head seriously, her short, copper curls flew about her face wildly, "I'm not really sure. But he's got some…"

A sharp rap on the door interrupted her half formed explanation; everyone turned to the door and stared at it silently. Another sharp knock echoed through the hallways, no one moved. They all just stared at the door, the mood in the room shifted from curious, to worried in the span of a second. Fury rarely made house calls if he could avoid it. Hell he rarely talked to Toni if he could avoid it, so why was he here now?

Toni smirked a bit and sauntered to it, "this," she pointed at it impishly, "is a door. I promise, it won't harm anyone," she plastered on her best cocky smile and opened the door, to be greeted with a face full of Fury. Toni grinned and leaned against the door frame confidently, "Sup Cyclopes. What brings you to my humble abode," sarcasm shot out of her mouth before she could even bother to contain it. It was her natural self-defense mode. Sarcasm, saving Toni Stark's ass since she learned how to argue. But other than being a part of her cockiness, sarcasm was a valuable tool. If used correctly it was a wonderful way for her to grasp what someone was really feeling. Chances are if they didn't really want to help you, they wouldn't put up with the sarcasm for long.

Fury's eye narrowed at her in agitation, an emotion that ran rampant whenever he had to deal with the cocky inventor. He gave her a brief look then spoke in his normal bored tones, "I don't have time for your games Stark, is Roger's here?"

Toni frowned and shrugged nonchalantly, "he is. But me and stripes are going out," she smirked at him rubbing the words in deep. Toni knew Fury hated the idea of her and Steve together, "one month anniversary and all." She smiled victoriously, her mental scoreboard declaring:

Stark: 1

Fury: 0.

He smiled unpleasantly at her, guessing what she was thinking by the look on her face, "I'm well aware. But I have a…," he smiled slyly, "surprise for Rogers. Someone I'm sure he'll want to see. May we come in?"

Steve looked toward the door curiously, and Toni caught Natasha shaking her head a bit out of the corner of her eye. Whatever the hell Fury was up to, it was really irking the normally stoic Russian. Toni rubbed the back of her head lightly, and felt the cool press of metal from the little round clip Thor had placed in her hair earlier for "battle". She mulled over her options sullenly. Knowing without a doubt this was probably a battle she couldn't win. Besides, was it really fair to deny Steve the right to see someone?

Fury looked at her expectantly, his eye starting to show his mounting irritation with what he assumed was an unnecessary delay. Toni rolled her eyes and opened the door wide, "Sure why the hell not. I'm only being nice this once," her voice was sweet as candy laced with bitter arsenic, "but next time make an appointment with Pepper will ya? I can't have all my groupies running around freely."

She could practically see in the pulse in Fury's temple tick with barely suppressed anger, and she smiled gleefully. There was no better time to act like a spoilt child then around Fury. She watched him walkout to the black S.H.E.I.L.D car that waited for him and pull a wheelchair out of the trunk.

Toni strolled back over to Steve and stood next to him, he rubbed her back absently watching the doorway with curious eyes. The confusion in the room mounted to a palpable question that everyone was dying to let out; why the hell did Fury have a wheelchair?

Natasha hurried off when she saw the chair, Clint followed close behind murmuring sharp questions as they scurried down the hall together. Toni looked at Steve questioningly, and was unpleasantly surprised to see that his face had suddenly become very pale. She looked out the door concerned for Steve; when she saw her.

She was an ancient looking woman, being wheeled down the walkway by Fury. Her milky white hair curled around her thin shoulders, and highlighted surprisingly clear dark brown eyes. Toni watched with a sinking feeling in her stomach, as Fury wheeled her inside the house and gave Toni a triumphant look. The bastard looked like he had just single handedly won every gold medal in the Olympics.

Toni felt Steve take a step away from her toward the old woman who was now smiling joyfully at him. She looked to Steve for an explanation, but his entire focus was on the woman sitting in front of them.

"Is it really…" his voice trailed off shakily, and Steve gave Fury a helpless look. Begging for something that Toni couldn't define. Who the hell was this woman?

"This," Fury put his hand on the woman's shoulder gently, "Is Peggy Carter."

* * *

A/N: Yup I'm evil. I don't like Fury just on principle, I think he's pretty evil. And I honestly don't think he'd want Cap and Tony together, for some good, but mostly bad reasons. So I do think he would pull something like this. And till next time :)


	3. Chapter 3

Toni tried to think of anything that came to mind with that name. But all she could remember was something her father had mentioned…..oh….. It was that Peggy. The one that Steve…. Toni's heart sank right through the floor into her workroom. The one Steve was in love with. The Peggy he worked, trained, and almost died for.  
Fury caught Toni's eye and nodded languidly, instantly guessing where her mind had wandered to. "I found where she was, and asked if she could visit Rogers today. The nursing home agreed, provided she stays within the S.H.E.L.D facilities," he looked at Steve face and voice full of mock innocence, "But I had no idea you and Stark were going out," Steve looked up at Fury from where he was kneeling in front of Peggy, his eyes held confusion for one aching moment, like he had no idea what language Fury was speaking.  
Then it hit him, and he looked over at Toni quickly; his blue eyes stormy, and pleading. They begged Toni desperately for something he was too polite to ask for. Something that Toni so desperately wished to deny him.  
She choked back the sorrow and hopelessness at the sight of the two of them together. Steve kneeling; Peggy holding her hand over his happily. Blissfully unaware of the inner battle going on within the woman right in front of them. God they looked so fucking happy. Toni couldn't remember ever seeing that look in his eyes. It killed her; cut her to the very marrow of her bones. Nothing could be more agonizing than this. No torture she ever received, nor accusations and betrayal. They all just looked at her, like her opinions and wants actually mattered to them.  
"Actually Steve," Toni's voice somehow managed to sound light and carefree, "I hate to do this to you, but I'm going to have to cancel our date tonight. I just remembered I have to work on some papers for Pepper," she shrugged lightly, like it had just come to her; "you know how business is. Do you mind?" She barely managed to paste on her best picture smile.  
Inside she screamed at him to say no. To say he wanted to go out with her, and go to a fair, or do whatever boring things couples did. Things he had been talking about for a week. Things she had gotten so excited over doing for the first time.  
He looked at her for a quick moment, "you sure Toni?" his voice was soft, and questioning, "I don't want to leave you here alone."  
She shook her head and smiled, mentally dying. He said Toni. Not Natasha, just Toni. They were back to just Toni, "Yea, no biggie. I've got genius things to do anyway. Bruce and I were going to go do science and all."  
Toni smiled as best as she could; while she watched the three of them walk out the door, to that damn hearse that waited outside for them. She stayed there, smile burning her face like wildfire as the car drove down the sunny driveway, out to a day of fun.  
Toni's smile fell slowly; like it hadn't actually caught up with the action yet. She stood staring at the door strangely numb, thousands of painful thoughts and feelings crashed through her wildly. She sat down, staring at her hands sullenly. There was the woman Clint talked about. The one Steve wouldn't feel guilty wanting. The perfect baby maker, that would do everything a man really wanted.  
Her eyes burned and she forced tears back quickly, what the hell did she care if stripes went off and saw someone? It wasn't like she was into anniversary things anyway, too girlie. She stood powerfully ready to go do something incredibly stupid to distract her from the pain in her chest; when she caught sight of Clint leaning silently in the door way. His eyes were glaring at the door as if his only wish in the world was to put an arrow through it, they left the door instantly, and roved over her, looking for any sign, any excuse to go put an arrow through Fury's good eye. His posture told her that all she had to do was say the word, and someone would be dead.  
She walked over to him as calmly as she could, and stood in front of him. They stood there for a few moments, neither one really sure how to express themselves to each other. The silence stretched around them saying more than words could ever say. Toni knew that Clint was there for her. No amount of words could make her understand that more. So she just nodded to him, a silent gesture of understanding.  
Her face was so calm, but her eyes screamed with torment. She felt like her arc reactor had failed, and shrapnel was steadily making its merry way toward her heart. Out of all the things she had mentally prepared to screw up, she had never prepared for this. Nor had she expected to feel this utter anguish and…betrayal. Though she knew it was selfish of her to call it a betrayal. She knew Steve would have stayed with her if she had said no. She had let him go.  
"I need to do something. Anything."  
Clint jumped a bit when her voice crashed out suddenly. She sounded so vulnerable and lonely. His fists clenched and all he wanted to do was beat Steve over the head. How could he do that to her? How could he just leave her there like this? He was Captain fucking America for Christ's sake! Shouldn't he have known what this would do to her? Couldn't he see that under her cocky attitude, she was really scared of loosing everyone around her?  
"What do you want to do Toni? We can go out, or make something. Hell we can go graffiti Fury's car."  
She smiled wearily at him, she knew he was trying. What did she want to do? Going out with a guy seemed like the worst thing in the world at the moment. And building something couldn't soothe this, not this time. It couldn't distract her from her terrible mood. Maybe she should talk to Thor he would understand her pa…. Her mind stopped instantly. Thor. Thor had someone he loved, someone Fury wouldn't let him see because of "danger". Why hadn't she noticed it earlier?! He always talked about her. Every moment was filled with conversations about the woman he had fallen in love with. And Toni did need something to do…..  
"Hey Clint, what's the name of the woman Thor met his first time around?"  
Clint looked at her warily, trying to decipher just what the hell she was planning. On one hand, he didn't want to deny her a good distraction, but on the other, he didn't want her distraction to hurt Thor. A light shone in her eyes, it was the light she only got when she was about to do something big. Either foolish or otherwise, and part of him felt foolish coming on. He decided to risk it, and hope that she knew what she was doing, "Jane Foster. She lives out in New Mexico. I don't think they've told her he's back yet though," he looked at her curiously, "why the sudden interest in Thor's love life? You've never asked before." Please let him have done the right thing. If this back fired Tasha was gonna have his balls as earrings.  
She smiled and hugged him loosely, "oh no reason," she let go of him and smiled mischievously, grabbing the keys to her Aventador, and walking to the door quickly, "I just felt like going for a plane ride."

* * *

A/N: So this is the 3rd chapter! It's a little bit shorter, but I think it's a pretty important chapter. Now for refrence Steve isn't doing this to hurt Toni. But think about it, he wakes up from a 70 year nap, everything is different, all his friends are dead. And now he finds out the the woman he was in love with is alive. He'd probably be so overwhealmed that he wouldn't really realize how upset Toni was. And I still really don't like Fury. He probably would pull something like this.


	4. Chapter 4

The heat in the air whipped around Toni mercilessly. Waves of scorching heat rippled across the cracked and fading pavement as she made her way down the streets of Nowhere New Mexico. People around her whispered excitedly as she looked around, trying to find a, "building full of strange equipment", as one of the locals had so eloquently described it. She strolled along easily, her heels clacking against the pavement steadily.

She walked for a few minutes down empty streets, and tiny diners, until she found her destination. It was a round building with glass wall full of what could, in her opinion, defiantly be classified as "strange equipment". Toni stared at it for a few moments, hoping like hell she hadn't flown all the way from New York to find that this Jane Foster was out. She didn't do Good Samaritan acts often, but when she did, the people had better damn well be there.

She knocked on the glass lightly, hoping that the sound could carry through to the entire building. The wait seemed endless with the heat clinging to her like a second skin. She was glad she hadn't changed out of the satin dress. Inconspicuous it was not, but cool it most defiantly was. And at the moment she would take any type of relief from the heat she could get. She watched the silent building for a few moments, and was about to leave, when and older gentleman stepped out from one of the back areas. Toni vaguely recognized him as Erik Selvig. Fury had recruited him to help S.H.E.I.L.D harness the power of the tesseract.

He opened the glass door smoothly surprise clearly set into his features as he got closer and recognized the woman standing outside Jane's building, "Toni Stark? What brings you all the way to New Mexico?"

She smiled cockily, "grocery list, last item being a Jane Foster. She anywhere around? I have someone back in New York that's dying to see her."

His eyes instantly lit with hopeful understanding, "Is it him?" his voice became hushed, and he looked around frantically to see if Jane was anywhere nearby. "Have you found Thor?"

Toni frowned a bit, "he's been back for months. Fury seriously hasn't pulled his head out of his ass and told any of you?" Her temper spiked a bit, but she kept it hidden behind her cocky attitude. What the actual fuck was Fury thinking? He had to know how much Thor missed Jane, so why hadn't he told anyone about Thor's return? And another thing, why hadn't this wonderful Jane bothered to check in? If you loved someone that much you damn well checked in on their progress.

"Months?!" the voice that echoed back at her was full of anger, "what do you mean months?! And he hasn't bothered to tell her?"

Toni held up her hands defensively and pieced together the facts of the situation in her brain, "whoa bro. Thor's been dying to see her, but Fury told him not to for security reasons. But we all assumed that she'd been told about his return. After all Fury assured us that she'd be told." Well imagine that, Fury, breaking a promise. Toni snorted mentally, she didn't trust Cyclops farther than she could throw him.

"Well you thought wrong."

Toni was taken aback by the fury that resounded in the man's voice. Obviously Fury had been screwing everyone over. For what reason, Toni was pretty sure she didn't want to know, "well that's what I'm here for. I'm going to spring her back to New York. She's welcome to stay with me for as long as she wishes. I'm just doing this for Thor."

The Dr. looked at her for a few more moments, trying to assess her motives. He was obviously satisfied with her explanation, because a few moments later he nodded and smiled, "I'll go get her for you, would you like to come in."

No I'd love to stay out in the blistering heat and become mummified. Toni kept her thought to herself and nodded politely. She wasn't going to risk the opportunity of air conditioning. As soon as she stepped into the building she was surrounded by a blast of cold air. She smiled euphorically, and waited for the doctor to retrieve the woman for her patiently.

She glanced around the area curiously, it was littered with white boards and half formed equations, pictures of tornadoes, and half written theories surrounded her snugly. Whatever little space there was in the building, was completely taken up with this woman's attempts to get her lover back. Toni was grudgingly impressed at the level of dedication it must have taken this Jane Foster to amass all her information.

Hurried footsteps jolted her out of her musings, and she watched as a pretty little brunette woman made her way over quickly.

"You're Toni Stark! This is so amazing; I have Toni Stark in my lab." Her voice was excited, and it somehow set Toni at ease. The woman seemed so genuinely kind, it was no wonder Thor was so in love with her. Plus anyone who got that excited just by seeing her was definably good in her books.

Toni extended her hand professionally and smiled, "Miss. Foster." She kept her amusement inside when the woman shook her hand excitedly, nearly jarring her shoulder from its socket, "I've heard about your work, and I'd love to talk with you about it, "she winked at the Dr. over Miss. Foster's shoulder. He winked back happily and continued acting pleasantly surprised, "I'd like you to come with me to New York. We can discuss your work on the way, and maybe talk about starting up a lab for you. I think Stark Industries could benefit from your research."

Miss. Foster's smile went from excited to hero worship in less time than it took Toni to blink, "Really?! Please just call me Jane. You really want to hear about my work?"

Toni nodded seriously, part of her already forming plans about a lab for this woman. From the notes she could see around her it wasn't a bad business idea to have Miss…Jane working with her company, "I'd love to have you working with Stark Enterprises. All your work would of course, remain your own," Toni smiled a bit, she felt giddy just from the waves of happiness rolling off the woman in front of her, "but like I said we'd discuss that on the plane."

Jane smiled and spoke with Toni for a few brief moments, before running off to collect her things. This was something she had always wanted. With help from someone like Toni stark she'd have Thor back to her in no time.

Toni waited, while Jane gathered some clothes. Excitement bubbled up inside her, and she couldn't help but praise her own awesomeness. If this was how the woman reacted to a job offer, then she could only imagine how she'd react to seeing Thor.

Jane walked back over to where Toni was waiting, slightly more calm. Toni could still read the excitement plainly written on her face, but Toni didn't mind it this time. Normally people like Jane annoyed the hell out of her. They all wanted something from Toni. Usually money and fame. But Jane Foster was sincere in her wish to get Thor back, and for that reason alone Toni was predisposed to like the woman. Anyone who loved Thor that much obviously had to be a good person.

They walked along the empty streets amicably, Jane talking quickly about her research, with Toni interjecting little questions and comments here and there. Toni hadn't done much study onto the Einstein theory that Jane based her work off, but if she was going to be funding it she need to learn it fast.

The heat chased them around as they headed back to where Toni's jet waited stoically. The sun shone down on everything, and the heat chocked the moisture out of the air, it sucked life out of all but the toughest animals that the desert had to offer. Toni couldn't wait to be back in the air conditioning.

She escorted Jane into the jet carefully, and sat down on one of the plush leather seats. Cool air swirled around Toni invitingly, its icy hands grabbing her lovingly. Toni watched as Jane stowed her bag in one of the spacious upper compartments. She smiled inwardly at the awed expression on the woman's face. Toni was so used to having money, and being surrounded by top class things, that she sometimes forgot exactly how nice her things actually were. She could remember, in the back of her mind, Steve calling her a spoilt brat at one point. But she pushed that thought as far away as she could, after all this whole trip was a great distraction, and she didn't want to face reality yet. She'd prepare for it later, but for now she was content to be distracted by other people's problems.

They chatted casually throughout the flight, and by the time the plane landed Toni had the rough draft of a contract ready to be put through by Pepper. She had a feeling that this woman was going to make an excellent addition to her company. Jane had negotiated terms with her politely, but shrewdly. All of the terms she named were more than agreeable, and Toni liked having a scientist who took their work so seriously.

They walked out of the jet quickly, impatience taking over Toni as she rushed to get them back to her home. Her Aventador waited for her sultrily,all sexy angles and black paint, the car called out to her provocatively. She jumped in excitedly, feeling all the leather and metal her baby had ready for her. She watched Jane get in carefully, and tried not to wince when her bag hit the side of her door. Hopefully nothing was scratched. She'd still make Clint buff it out and paint it by hand,that bird still owed her for the scar on her wrist.

She pulled out of the airport, and zipped onto the busy streets of New York. Buildings flashed by them as Toni weaved in and out of traffic, more than likely breaking a speed limit or two. She watched Jane out of the corner of her eye, slightly amused as she gripped the door in her hand. Her face was pale and she was constantly looking out the window to see how close Toni was to the other cars on the road. None of that worried Toni, her baby handled like a dream, and there was no way in hell she'd ever scratch it. Stark towers loomed above them, and Toni sped onward to it. She turned sharply into the garage, and chuckled lightly at the little squeak that Jane emitted. She parked smoothly and turned her baby off lovingly. Maybe she'd take her car out for a long drive when this was over.

She got out smoothly, and waited for Jane to stumble out, "Welcome to Stark Tower. I'll show you where you can stay, and where we'll start constructing your lab. But first," Toni paused dramatically, taking in the full effect of her work. She really was a genius, "I have someone I'd like you to meet."

She led the way in after Jane nodded her acceptance. They walked into the living area quietly. It seemed like no one was around. Toni hoped to God Thor was still here, she hadn't flown across the country to get his girlfriend, only for him to not be here. She looked around subtly and motioned for Jane to follow her.

The two women walked into the living room, where Clint was lounging about watching T.V. "Hey birdie, where's Cape?"

Clint jumped up and looked over at her, hand over his heart he shook his head, "I can't believe you actually flew to New Mexico Toni. Were you really that fucking bored?"

Toni gave him a dull look and smiled sweetly, "just tell me where to find him alright?"

"Last I checked, he was in his room," Clint looked at her seriously, his eyes alight with worry. They spoke to her plainly, asking if she was alright, while still offering to kill someone. He knew that she was just putting band-aids on the wound, until it festered and she sank into a depression. When Toni sank into a depression, she worked herself to death and drank. Not always in that order, or by themselves either. He didn't want to see his friend like that again. Not now, not ever.

Toni smiled at him a bit warmly, her eyes saying that she was okay at the moment. She wasn't ready to go back to that place either. Hell she'd rather tango with Fury than be there again, "Thanks man. Jarvis?"

"Yes Miss Stark?"

Toni smiled gleefully when Jane jumped and looked around surprised, "This is Jane Foster, she's going to be staying with us for an undisclosed amount of time. Make sure the guest bedroom next to Cape's is ready alright."

"Of course Miss Stark. Anything else?"

"Cape decent?" Toni defiantly didn't want it to be that type of reunion. She'd seen enough naked Thor ass to last a lifetime.

"Yes Miss Stark. He's clothed."

Jane gave her a funny look as if to ask why she would be meeting someone who, from this conversation, seemingly pranced around naked. She smiled at her and shrugged a bit, "he works out a lot," it wasn't exactly a lie. Thor did like to do a lot of training. But for some reason the idea of having to wear clothes when you woke up never sank into his mind. Toni was privately convinced that he kept it up just to mess with Steve and Clint. They walked through the halls silently, Jane taking in all the sights, and Toni trying not to brood on the fact that she'd soon be out of easy distractions. She approached Thor's room, and motioned for Jane to wait at the end of the hall. She walked down briskly and knocked loudly.

"Enter." His voice sounded a bit sullen, and Toni hoped to God he hadn't been brooding on Loki again.

"Hey man," she walked in and closed the door quietly; "I have someone I need you to meet." She looked him up and down taking in his messy hair, and the picture clutched tightly in his hand.

"A visitor? Is it the man of Fury?" Thor's voice promised excruciating amounts of pain if it was. Toni rolled her eyes at how quickly new travelled in her house. Clint was worse than an old woman. There was no such thing as a secret to him, and if Thor knew….well then the wholde fucking world knew.

"Nope, even better. But we're keeping her waiting." Toni grabbed a brush from the dresser and pushed him onto the bed lightly. She ran the bristles through his golden hair slowly, pain welled up in her quickly, just this morning he had been doing this for fingers grabbed her heart and squeezed painfully, she really hoped his day ended a lot better than hers.

"Her? Toni I have no reason to see any woman. If it is the Woman like a spider, than I do not mind going out to meet her with messy hair," he looked up at her, clear blue eyes clouded with confusion.

Toni smiled happily and was about to take the pin out of her hair for him, when his hand caught hers lightly, "Do not yet return it Toni. You're battle has not yet been fought." He looked at her kindly, and ran his thumb over her knuckles comfortingly. The gesture reminded her so much of Steve, that she had to fight to keep her tears at bay. Damn Thor and his tendencies to comfort people, and damn Fury for making Thor have to comfort her.

"Alright then," she took her watch off and put it on him carefully, "then this is for your battle. Hopefully it ends a hell of a lot happier than mine."

He nodded sadly at her words, and Toni motioned for him to stand up. She looked him over, and nodded her approval of his appearance, "Come with me." They walked out of his room and down the hall quietly, well as quietly as she could with Thor around.

They reached the end of the hall where Jane was still waiting for them. The woman was completely engrossed in a painting, and studying it with religious detail. Toni heard Thor's breath hitch when he laid eyes on his love.

"Jane?" his voice was surprisingly quiet, but it carried to the young woman who spun around instantly. Her eyes were wide as she studied his face incredulously. Like it couldn't really be him in front of her. "T-Thor. Oh my God…Thor!?" She ran to him quickly pushing Toni out of the way in her haste. Thor caught her up when she was close enough, and their joyous cried echoed through the halls, as Toni slunk away to give them their privacy.


	5. Chapter 5

She wandered around the house aimlessly, heart and mind heavy. Everyone in the house was happy now. Thor had Jane, Clint had Natasha, and Bruce had…well Bruce had science. Everyone in the house had someone to be with, except for her. Which was of course no big deal. She was Tony Stark for Christ's sake. She didn't need anyone. All she had to do was snap her fingers, and she'd have a roomful of men lined up for her bed. Somehow the thought didn't bring her any comfort. Especially since none of those men would be Steve. That thought just mad her sore, what the hell made that old lady worth more than Toni's time? She'd put off a lot of research and meetings (not that she went to those anyway) just to spend the day with Steve. If this was how people acted when you did things for them then obviously she needed to cease and desist. Now.

Depression whirled around her chaotically; she itched for a drink, and scoffed at herself with loathing. She was turning into her father. Drinking away her sorrows without a damn to everyone else, and if she was completely honest with herself, she knew she was already a manic depressive alcoholic. Before the Avengers she had always been perfectly content with drinking away her pain. Until her torture she spent most of her nights drunk, and in someone's bed. If anything she got worse after she escaped Afghanistan. She came back terrified of everything, little noises, and water. Especially water. Everything reminded her of that cave, and Yinseng. When she wasn't out in her suit, she was drinking. She hated herself for how weak she was, how every time she looked in the mirror she could see Howard Stark glaring back at her. Never good enough; too stupid to tell her ass from her hands with a map; useless. Then the avengers and Steve happened, and she never told anyone, but she'd actually been sober since this whole mess with Loki started. God she was pathetic. _Normal_ people weren't proud of being sober.

Her thoughts rolled through her like a poisonous cloud, she needed to get out of the house, or she knew she'd end up drinking herself silly. She stormed out unnoticed, into the cooling air of the bustling city. People crashes around her in a steady stream as they made their way to and from packed restaurants, and crowded offices. Toni lost herself in the people, became one with the crowd. No one really noticed the small woman as she made her way through them sullenly. The chilly air whipped around her bare arms, and caressed the satin of her dress lovingly. She looked at herself in a store window, and realized a bit ruefully, that she should have changed before she stormed out of her home. Oh well, too late for that.

She headed toward Central Park distractedly. Darkness was slowly descending on the city, and this part of the park was usually poorly lit. She walked uncaringly through the dim light, wandering aimlessly. The night breeze shook the trees softly, mourning alongside her mockingly. Poor little Stark, always alone. Poor little pathetic Stark, how could you think you were good enough to keep the perfect man happy? What a fool you are little Stark.

Because no matter how Toni tried to hide it underneath all the cockiness, and self-assured smiles, she was still just that lonely little kid trying so hard to gain everyone's love and approval. None had ever been forthcoming. Her father hated her, her mother drank herself to death. She had no friends in school, her professors resented her. No one had ever been proud of her. No one had ever valued _Toni_. She hung her head and sat down on a hard wooden bench dejectedly. The cool air caressed her arms, and ruffled through her curls wildly.

Steady footsteps pattered toward her quietly, Toni didn't even bother to look up. Maybe some mugger would kill her and save her the trouble of doing it herself. Now wouldn't that be nice?

"Do you now see the foolishness of rejecting my offer Natasha Stark?"

Toni spun her head to see Loki standing right in fucking front of her. He looked so _normal_, with a long wool coat and a suit, accented with a green tie and scarf. His black hair was slicked back out of his face, and he had finally ditched the ridiculous helmet. Toni looked at him for a few moments trying to figure out why the hell he had appeared out of the blue, "What's doin antlers? Kinda warm out for a reindeer don't cha think?"

He chuckled softly and sat down next to her amicably, "eloquent as always Natasha I believe I can handle much colder weather than you," he smirked at her; bluish-green eyes alight with mischief. He took his coat off carefully, Toni watched the entire time, she was tense and ready to run like hell at a moment's notice. She was completely taken off guard when he wrapped the coat around her shaking shoulders. She looked at him incredulously, and he laughed at her confusion, "I have not come here to harm you Natasha. I have come to simply talk."

"What the hell about?" Warmth settled over her from his coat. It seeped into her skin and wrapped itself around her body slowly. His warmth was so different from Steve's. She couldn't help but compare the two in her mind. Right now though, Loki's kind of warmth was exactly what she wanted. She hated to admit it, but his mood seemed almost…pleasant. Nice even. For some reason it didn't put her on edge, if anything she relaxed deeper into his coat, and let the warmth and scent soothe her. He smelled so much different than Steve. The coat reminded her of faraway places _before_ you visited them, the allure of the unknown. There was nothing safe about this scent, it was the scent of someone who could completely enthrall you if you let your guard down too long. Toni didn't intend to listen to him for long, so what was the danger in relaxing for a little bit?

"My offer of course," his eyes roved over her slowly, enjoying the view she presented, stretched out next to him under his coat. He briefly enjoyed the thought of all the other places she could be stretched out with him before continuing smoothly, "you obviously had no reason to listen to my offer before, a _small_ miscalculation on my part. But part of you listened," he looked at her hungrily eyes full of forbidden fruit and unspoken pleasures, "what holds you back from true glory Natasha? Your power could be limitless with me. You'd be forever cherished, forever _loved._"

Toni's mind froze with his words. Loved? Everything he promised her sounded wonderful, it reminded her of all the things she has always fought to gain. Things people were always given freely, but she had always had to fight for. And still she came short of really having it. Here Loki was, offering her _everything_. Love, affection, loyalty. She'd never be without those things again. Her mind ran around in circles his offer tempting her like nothing she had ever encountered before. God, she was going to say yes. She was actually going to say yes. She was ashamed to admit how unconcerned most of her was with the idea. All she could really think of was _finally_ getting those things for herself. Loki may be the God of lies, but Toni knew instinctively he really did mean what he said. Even if he offered her a twisted version of all those things, twisted was better than nothing.

A small part of her rebelled violently. "You fool!" it screamed at her accusingly. "You consider yourself a genius, yet you refuse to see what sits right under your nose! Affection?! Think of Thor, Clint, and Bruce! Think of all the times spent in the lab laughing with Bruce, and all the pranks played with Clint! Think of all the time Thor spent trying to make you happy! You want loyalty? Think of Tasha and them! All of them would run to the ends of existence for you, you little fool!" The voice in her head became louder and shriller, drowning out everything, "you want love?! Think of Steve! Think of how he brings you coffee and food when you stay up endless nights! How he defends you from Fury, how he comforts you when you need it most! What can Loki really give you that they haven't? What part of Loki's twisted ideas appeals to you more than the true version of all those things you get from them?"

Toni looked at Loki for a moment. He was defiantly attractive, and for some reason he had attached himself to her. She thought about all he said again, and then shook her head slowly, and looked at Loki a bit mournfully; she understood everything that he was offering her. A part of her would always crave it, would always want to give into him, but she couldn't. "I've said it once, and I'll say it again, I'm not interested antlers." Her voice was softer than she wanted, more unsure than she was proud of, but it rang with finality.

Loki shook his head at her softly, obviously seeing the insecurity in her mind, "one day Natasha, you will agree with me." He stood up fluidly, and strode away slowly.

"Hey! What about your coat?!" She held it out to him searchingly, waiting for him to come back and take it from her. Wanting him to take away the temptation of his scent, and the temptation that he had laid out so deliciously for her.

He laughed at her lowly, "I have less need of it than you do. Think of it as a good will gift Natasha." With that he strode off silently into the dark, leaving Toni alone with her thoughts and the wind.

She sat there for a few moments, trying to gain her bearings quietly. Nothing had really changed; she was still the same Toni. The coat around her shoulders seemed to burn as she got up and slowly walked down the pathways that led to various parts of the city. She was ashamed of how she had almost given in, but at the same time she could hardly blame herself. Depressed people did stupid shit all the time, and who was she to be the exception? She smiled slightly, Toni fucking Stark that's who. She could see bright lights in the distance, and realized that she was slowly making her way out of the park, back into chaos. The arc reactor in her chest gave off an eerie blue light that washed over trees and grass.

She left the park and made her way back to Stark towers. She passed busy stores, and fancy buildings, all surrounded by filth and homeless. She dropped the coat onto one of the men that was asleep under a construction frame. God knew she didn't want the damn thing. It smelled so off, she wanted to be surrounded by old spice and propaganda, not exotic and dangerous.

The towers were finally ahead of her, and she rushed to get out of the cold that permeated the air around her. The lobby area was silent as a tomb, and Toni looked around curiously, trying to see if anyone was milling about on the lower floor. She shrugged a bit and stepped into the elevator quietly. She really wanted to take a bath, and then drink. Or maybe drink then take a bath. Or maybe she really just wanted to drink. There were so many wonderful possibilities that all revolved around her and a drink. The elevator opened up to the common area and Toni stepped out calmly to be greeted with a scowling Clint.

"Where the fuck have you been!?"

Toni looked at him for a few moments trying to decide how to answer, "Out."

"Out? You've been out?!" His voice was steadily growing louder and louder, causing Toni to back up slightly from his anger, she really wasn't in the mood to deal with this shit, "We've been looking everywhere for you! Do you even know what time it is Toni?!"

She rolled her eyes God he was a drama queen, "I left at 5 Clint it's not…"

"It's 11 at night Toni. You've been gone for 6 hours! No one knew where you were!" Behind the anger in his eyes fear ran rampant. They'd been looking for some clue of where she was for hours. Clint and Bruce had worried that she had actually offed herself this time. The idea of her dead had gotten Bruce so agitated, that he had to go to the Green Room just in case he couldn't control himself, Clint had been beside himself for hours, and by the time Bruce had calmed down enough to be around people it was dark."We've been beside ourselves Toni! You just left! You didn't say anything! We thought you'd killed yourself!"

Guilt welled up in Toni, making her shoulders slump and her demeanor stiffen. She hated being guilty. It was an emotion she did her best not to feel often, but for some insane reason she had been feeling it more and more lately, "I just took a walk, I was upset. Did I worry Steve too?" She hope to hell she didn't. Out of all of them Steve worried was the worst, he got this look in his eyes that made Toni want to die. She really hoped he hadn't been sitting up waiting for her all those hours. Maybe they could still do something together; after all it was New York. The thought boosted her spirits slightly and she looked at Clint eager to know if Steve had been waiting for her.

Clint stiffened slightly, and a guilty looked passed across his face, Toni narrowed her eyes at him, and her good spirits plummeted straight to hell, "Clint….has Steve even gotten back yet?"

He looked like he was trying to come up with the best excuse in the world, one that would really knock her off her ass. He obviously wasn't coming up with anything good because he suddenly deflated and looked at the ground dejectedly, "Uhh…you see the thing with Steve…"

Toni's heart thudded against her chest, and pain gripped her tightly. God she was dying. This is what dying felt like, and she didn't like it one bit. "Where the fuck is Steve Clint?" her voice came out harsher than she'd wanted, and she mentally winced at his flinch. She didn't want to hurt more of her friends, but she _had_ to know.

"He hasn't come back yet. He uh…might not be coming back tonight."

Icy numbness stole over her, she felt like she was out in the snow with shorts on. Not coming back? He was going to be away…all night? To be with an old lady and Fury? All night? Just like that, no word, no phone call no nothing. Unwanted tears welled up in her eyes, burning like fire. God that hurt, she could have dealt with him coming back late and then going out with her, or being late and watching a movie…or something. But to prepare for weeks, let herself feel all that excitement, and then to be forgotten _again_. That hurt her, that hurt more than every drunken beating, every lonely night, and every snide comment she had endured. Especially since she had been forgotten by the world's most polite man. What was so wrong with her that everyone kept leaving her in the dust?

"Toni it's really not as bad as it seems," Clint felt helpless, not a feeling he was used to. But seeing Toni in _tears_, that was helplessness. She looked so broken, and fragile. Two words he never thought he'd relate to his eccentric best friend. He was going to kill Steve for putting that look in her eyes. Hell he was gonna have Bruce kill Steve. Then he was going to bring him back to life and let Tasha kill him.

She looked at him scathingly, tears spilling over onto her bloodless cheeks, "Not as bad?! Not as bad Clint? It's not bad that I've been completely forgotten by my whatever the fuck he is for some woman he hasn't seen in 72 years?! It's not that bad that I am again, left in the dark while everyone else frolics with their close ones? That I am once again not worth the effort it takes to at least be happy? Tell me Clint, how the fuck is that not as bad as it seems?! Cuz that seems pretty fucking bad to me!" Her voice had escalated quickly to screaming levels. What the hell would they know about _bad_, she should have taken Loki's offer when she had the chance. Because absolutely nothing in the world could be more painful than being forgotten by the man she had decided to love. Absolutely fucking nothing.

She stormed off before Clint could calm her down; she took the elevator down to her lab, and locked herself in. Fuck the world. She was Toni Stark, and she didn't need any of these idiots. She'd been perfectly fine alone her entire life, why would she need anyone now? She didn't. She didn't need anyone, and apparently, no one needed her either.

* * *

Dun dun duuuun! Sorry it took so long to update, but I really wanted to take my time with this chapter, especially because it had Loki in it. I didn't make Toni think about his offer to make her seem disloyal, but i had her think about it because pretty much anyone would listen. Almost everyone would have taken his offer, I wanted to show how strong Toni can be :D after all she is iron woman.


	6. Chapter 6

She holed herself up in her room, clutching a bottle of whiskey that she hadn't even managed to take a drink of. She felt so pathetic; she was alone, with booze that she couldn't even bring herself to drink. Every time she lifted the bottle to her lips she could see Steve's worried eyes looking at her disappointedly. Even through how crappy this day had been, she didn't want to let Steve down. She was on the verge of crying, but kept holding it back so painfully; remembering all the times she had gotten beat for crying. Starks don't cry. Ever. Even if she'd seen her father cry when he talked about Steve, or how he cried when her mother finally drank herself to death. How he cried when he was drunk sometimes. And Toni couldn't help but always blame herself, knowing somehow that it was her fault. Even in her child mind, she knew instinctively that when Howard Stark drank, it was probably because of her, and when he cried it had to be because of her.

She hurt all over, her chest was on fire, and burning tears were spilling down her cheeks against her will. She curled up in a little ball on her bed, trying to ignore all the voices in her head screaming that this was her fault, and it "wasn't as bad as it seemed." She hoped that her little ball of solitude would dispel the pain, but it just seemed to grow worse, and worse.

"Toni?" a soft voice called from her doorway, and a polite knock followed shortly.

She sat up carefully and set the whiskey down softly, whoever it was defiantly picked a _great_ time to chat, "that's my name," her sarcasm came out more tired than funny, and she just sounded weary even to her own ears. She winced a bit at the thought, and sat up a bit straighter.

"I would hope so; I defiantly wasn't looking for Thor." A slight pause followed the joke, "May I come in?"

Toni suddenly recognized Bruce's voice from under her doorway, and figured that it wouldn't do her any harm to talk with her science buddy. After all, it's not like he could make her feel any worse. "Yea come on in Brucey.

The door opened quietly, and Bruce padded into the room softly, and sat next to his friend lightly. He'd been in a similar place before, with Betty. So he had some idea of how she felt, and he knew that she was on the verge of breaking. He reached out softly and rubbed her back slowly, saying nothing. Just letting her know he was there. He was always there for Toni, and surprisingly, so was Hulk. Not that he should be surprised, Toni had the wonderful habit of making the weirdest people love her.

Toni stiffened for a moment, and then let her head fall on his shoulder softly, her breath was coming in gasps, and her she was starting to shake with repressed sobs. If anyone in the world understood her right now, it was Bruce. Hot tears ran down her face, scalding her skin and dropping down to her lap in soft plunks. She could feel herself breaking down quickly, trying to let everything out around someone she trusted not to judge her about it. If she trusted anyone in the house at the moment, it was Bruce. She was ashamed when small sobs began to escape her, she didn't want people to see her like this. She was suppose to be the cocky, nothing bugs me one. But at the moment she was absolutely nothing. She was an insignificant spec of nothing sobbing on her best friends shoulder, and Toni Stark _hated_ being nothing.

She broke down completely at that thought, and clung to Bruce while she sobbed helplessly. Completely oblivious to the way her friend's eyes began to speckle green with rage for her. But he kept it to himself, knowing that his anger wouldn't do her an ounce of good in this situation, and continued to quietly hold her while she shook them with muffled sobs. His heart broke at all the very un-Toni sounds she was making. Every violent sob and shake broke him a little inside. This was the woman who was willing to do anything for them, even if she hid it behind her riches and just wanting to waste money, she only ever bought them the best of what they _wanted_.

That sat there for what seemed like hours, Bruce holding Toni, and Toni clinging to him desperately. Her sobs finally died down slowly, and she stuck to sniffling pathetically. Bruce looked at her searchingly, trying to gauge where she was mentally. If she was anywhere near as bad as she was when he came in, then he wasn't leaving her by herself; that would only result in a dead Toni, and then a smashed Steve.

She rubbed her eyes a bit and looked up at him mournfully, "I want Steve." Her voice was small and shaky, like she was about to cry again. "Why'd he go Bruce? Did I do something wrong?"

His heart broke into pieces over how small she sounded. Toni sounded like a small child that had just been beaten, she sounded like him and that was something he never wanted to hear in Toni. And he couldn't stand to see his best friend like this. He may not be _in_ love with her, but he did love her dearly. "I don't know Toni. I really don't. I think," he watched her carefully and rubbed her back soothingly, "I think he was just confused." He wanted to tell her that Steve was a terrible person, and that she deserved better and horrible things, but he couldn't. Toni didn't need lies right now, she needed the truth, and he was going to give it to her. "I think he was overwhelmed. He's thought everyone to be dead for the past two years, and to suddenly have an old flame, someone he cared for show up? That must have been a lot for him." He looked at her a bit sadly, knowing that the ends didn't justify the means, and that Steve could have seen Peggy any other day.

Toni nodded slightly and looked at the floor; obviously she was an idiot for feeling like this. Why the hell hadn't she thought about it?

Bruce shook his head instinctively knowing where her thoughts would go, "But that doesn't make it alright. And that doesn't make you stupid for feeling like this Toni. You've been let down again, we all know you were excited about this, even if you tried to keep it inside _you_ _were excited_. Steve should have told Fury to wait, and he should have gone out with you. Because as much as Peggy is part of his past, you're with him _now. _Him leaving you alone, it wasn't alright Toni, he could have gone any other day." He looked at her eyes slowly turning green, "If anything I'd really like to punch the idiot in the jaw for leaving you such a mess. Anyone could have seen you really didn't want him to leave. We've all been around you long enough to know the difference between a Toni smile and a forced Toni smile. Hell even Hulk knows the difference."Toni smiled a bit against her will, and nodded softly, playing Bruce's word over in her mind. Maybe she really didn't do anything wrong and maybe juust maybe this was actually Steve's fault. They both fell into compatible silence, Bruce playing with Toni's hair, and Toni resting against his shoulder happily, both just enjoying each other's presence. They were both startled by loud yelling coming from a few floors below them. The sounds echoed up from the floor and surrounded them uncomfortably.

"Steve must be home," Bruce remarked a bit dryly and got up, "I hope you don't mind, but to avoid property damage, I'm going to be in the Hulk out room. But you can get me if you need me alright Toni? Hulk and I," he smiled a bit violently, "well we'd be more than happy to have a little…._talk_ with Steve."

She laughed, and got up carefully, "I'll be alright." She hoped to hell she wasn't lying to him. She walks out the door slowly, and into the elevator, waving to Bruce a bit cheerily before the doors closed. She stared at the buttons for a few moments, like they would hold the answer to all her problems, and hell maybe they did. She pressed the floor level button softly and watched it lightly up instantly at her touch. The elevator lurched down toward the floor and Toni hoped like hell this wasn't a bad idea. She'd had a lot of those recently. She straightened her hair out as best as she could, and pulled on her best "I'm Natasha Antoinette Stark don't fuck with me" face.

The elevator doors opened slowly, and Toni was greeted with the sight of Clint screaming at Steve at the top of his lungs. He was rattling off all the reasons he should shoot Steve in the eye and then feed him to Loki piece by little piece. Steve just stood there looking miserable, his head was hung low and his shoulders stooped like he was holding the world on them, he didn't argue, he didn't scold him for cursing like a banshee, he just took it stoically. "Good." A very tiny part of her thought nastily, but a much bigger part of her rebelled at the sight. Her Steve wasn't supposed to look like that…ever. "Clint, knock it the fuck off man, you're scaring pre-schoolers on the other side of the state." She walked out of the elevator toward them confidently, and was silently amused when both their heads whipped around to face her.

Steve looked at her solemnly, and his blue eyes were full of regret and sorrow. They became even more turbulent when he got a good enough look at Toni to realize she had been crying. _He_ did that to her. He hung his head slightly, and couldn't bring himself to look up at her, too ashamed of what he had done to Toni.

Toni watched him for a few moments, and her chest suddenly seemed lighter. Steve was sorry he had left her, he didn't look like he was done with her, in fact he looked like he wanted to apologize like hell. While Toni was still upset, actually she was still pissed as hell, and somewhere inside her she _knew_ they needed to talk about this. All she really wanted to do was hug him. Because he was back, and that had to count for something.

Clint looked at Steve nastily, and then at Toni softly, "Say the word Toni, one little word and I'll make a pincushion of this ass hat," his hand was twitching toward his quiver and he looked at Toni hopefully.

Toni laughed a bit and shook her head, "then I'd have to clean the blood from my carpet buddy."

Clint shrugged nonchalantly, "I will gladly replace the bloody parts."

Toni smiled slightly, and walked over to Steve slowly, feeling their eyes on her as she crossed the room over to a dejected looking Steve. He looked down at her sadly, knowing exactly what he had done to her by leaving like that. He had been filled in with very, _very_ graphic detail by Clint. Toni shook her head a bit and hugged him tightly surprising everyone in the room. She buried her face in his chest and was surrounded by the wonderful, amazing scent of old spice and propaganda.

Surprised silence filled the room, no one spoke for a few moments, and suddenly Steve wrapped his strong arms around her desperately, and buried his face in her curly hair. He held her close to him, murmuring apologies softly as he did. And for some strange Toni believed every single one of them. He picked her up gently and smiled ever so slightly when she nuzzled closer to him, "let's go talk somewhere else Natasha." His voice whispered in her ear softly as he walked them toward the elevator.

She nodded slightly and clung to him happily, marveling at how wonderful it felt to have him holding her against his strong body, she felt so warm and safe snuggled up against Steve, most of the night didn't really seem to matter, now that she was back with him.

They rode up the elevator to her floor silently, neither of them really wanting to break this moment, but knowing they'd soon have to. Steve walked her down the hall to her room and opened the door softly. His eyes instantly fell on the bottle of whiskey, and he was greatly relieved to find it completely full. He dropped her down on the bed softly, and sat next to her lightly. They sat there in uncomfortable silence for a few moments, legs brushing hands close, until Toni spoke softly, "I saw Loki again," she watched his eyes flair up with worry and cut him off before he could talk. It was better that she told him now instead of him finding out later, "I almost accepted his offer. I really almost did. I'm not better than the traitor you labeled me to be, so I understand why you wanted to..." her voice cut off painfully and she tried to shrug nonchalantly. Bruce's words echoed in her mind, and she felt vaguely guilty for turning this around on herself. But it really had to be her fault this happened.

"Natasha," he placed to fingers under her chin softly, and lifted her head up to meet his eyes, he was instantly lost in the swirling pools of molten chocolate that always greeted him brightly, but now they looked dull , "I don't blame you for almost accepting it. It's entirely my fault. I never should have left you on a day like this. Especially when you put so much aside to make it special for _me._" He looked at her seriously, and held her softly. Hoping that he hadn't messed this up too much for her to forgive him.

Toni looked at him and then sighed, "Why did you go?" She couldn't keep the anger out of her voice, and truthfully she really didn't want to. He should know how she felt about this, and she'd damn well let him know. Especially since he was, in essence, admitting that this was his fault. "I planned for weeks, and I set things aside. Bruce and I were supposed to work on genetics for him today, so we could find something to help him suppress the Hulk for a limited amount of time." Her eyes flashed a bit and she looked up at him scathingly, "That was important as hell to Bruce. Then I was supposed to help Clint with his arrows. One of them has been malfunctioning, and in battle that's the difference between life and death for him, and I couldn't even do that for him. " she looked at the floor, too upset to look at him, " Natasha's widow's bite has been acting up, I was suppose to fix the wires so it didn't accidently shock her when she used it, they needed me to help them, and I was such a useless wreck all day that I couldn't do _anything." _ She looked at him angrily, "if you knew how important this was then why the fuck would you go Steve?" Her voice had slowly risen to slight shouting, and she felt satisfaction at his wince. He hated it when she swore. Absolutely couldn't stand it, and she planned on swearing a lot tonight.

"I needed to be sure…" he trailed off softly, and stared at the ground like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

Toni stood up angrily, he'd done this, and he'd damn well look at her. He _would_ look at her when he told her whatever stupid reason he'd had for abandoning her for a raisin, "be sure of what?! What Steve?! Look at me not the goddamned floor! What did you need to be sure of?! What the fuck could she tell you that I couldn't?! I can assure you I'm hundreds of times smarter than her! I'm a fucking genius for Christ's sake! There isn't a lot in this world I _can't_ figure out!"

"Toni I…"

"You what?! Were too busy chasing after an old flame to notice me?!" She couldn't believe she was yelling at him like this, but God did it feel good. She wanted him to understand what she felt; she wanted him to feel that pain, that fucking feeling of guilt that she felt over him all the time. She just wanted to scream herself hoarse, to push this whole thing in his face and watch it burn. "What was it Steve?! What's your great excuse?!"

He looked up at her, blue eyes flashing, finally reacting to her words. "Old flame? Toni she meant something to me! That's more than you can say for half the people you've been with."

"Turnabout is fair play captain asshat," she glared at him evilly, "so men in your time could sleep with whomever they wanted but the woman was loose? I can and have had sex with whomever I wanted! That's not a big deal; bring your ass into this century! I'm an independent woman! I could sleep with whomever I wanted, hell if I wanted to I could sleep with Bruce, and then Thor, and then Clint, and it wouldn't make your words any less _stupid_ then they are now."

"So sleeping with everything that walks is okay?!"

They were nose to nose, anger rolled around them bitterly making the room close around them dangerously. Toni was defiantly not going down this path with him; _he_ was the one who ran off with some old flame, not her. She hadn't run off with any of her old stands, she's made her choices happily before him, and he had no right to try and level them against her. She was Toni fucking Stark, and she could sleep with whomever she fucking wanted. What part of Sex Goddess did he not get? "Yes, it's perfectly fine. I slept with who I wanted when I wanted, but you wanna know the big difference between the situations? You wanna know what about this really makes you look like a self righteous dick?"

He glared at her stonily and stayed silent, so she took it as a sign to continue, "I never went back to any of them. Not once have I ever gone back, called them, or met them anywhere. I stayed with _you_. I actually got into a set relationship, which by the way _I_ don't do. I got excited over doing boring couple stuff, which I also don't do. And unlike what everyone thought, _I_ wasn't the one that screwed this up. _You did_ Mr. Perfect." She teared up again, and cursed herself mentally, she was too awesome to cry like this, "So don't come in here, admit you did wrong and then try to pin it on me asshat. Don't bring your goddamned 40's sensibilities to me and then try to judge me with them. I won't let you do it, because you may be perfect and wonderful, but _you_ fucked up. Not me."

He stared at her silently for a moment, before caving in. His shoulders slumped, and he hung his head dejectedly. She watched quietly, fighting all the urges she had to comfort him. She was pissed as hell, if she'd been Bruce; she would have turned into a giant green rage monster looong ago.

"I'm sorry Toni," he looked at her mournfully, blue eyes a raging storm of guilt and sorrow, "I was just worried, and I had to be sure of a few things before I came back to you." He ran his hand thru his hair frustratedly, messing up the blonde locks slightly, "Fury had said something about you being a rebound. So I asked around," he shrugged helplessly and looked at her, "Clint told me what it was, and I was terrified that I was doing that to you."

Toni listened quietly, her anger abating slightly; he was worried she was a rebound? She sat down boneless and looked at her hands a bit; she barley felt the bed dip next to her when he sat down. A rebound? Where the hell did he get the idea that this qualified as a rebound? "Fury." Her mind said plainly, of course Fury would somehow convince him that even after 72 years everyone else would be a rebound for Peggy. S.H.E.I.L.D was defiantly getting a virus, compliments of Stark Industries. She'd love to see Fury fuck things up when his computers only played the flying pop tart cat of doom. There _would _be pop tart cat consequences for all of S.H.E.I.L.D because of this.

He pet her softly, enjoying the feel of her silky hair against his hand. Grateful that she didn't push him away. She was nothing like Peggy, and he marveled about how ecstatic that made him, "So I went, and I felt…nothing."

She looked at him blankly, "nothing? You pined after this woman the entire time you were a capscicle, and then two years after, and you're telling me," she looked at him skeptically, "that you felt absolutely nothing."

He laughed softly, and Toni couldn't help but smile at the carefree sound, "I felt like I was seeing a friend, or a sister. I was glad to see her, but it wasn't the same," he looked at her for a moment and then frowned a bit, "there was defiantly not fonduing."

"Fonduing…." She looked at him quizzically, what the fuck was fonduing? "Is that some kind of 40's expression? Because I'm _so_ not following your train of thought." Fonduing…wasn't that bread and melted cheese? What in the seven hells, did bread and melted cheese have to do with seeing Peggy?

He blushed and looked down embarrassed, "you know…uh s-sex?" he practically squeaked out the word, like he couldn't even bring himself to say it.

Toni looked at him blankly for a few second, before falling back in laughter. He called it _fonduing_, where the hell did he get _fonduing_? "Steve, that's not fonduing. Fondue is cheese and bread, not sex." She wiped her eyes still shaking with suppressed laughter, God this was too good, wait until she told Bruce. "I'd hope there was no sex, she's a 90 year old woman Steve, you'd break her in half."

He looked at her, embarrassed beyond all belief, "anyway," he changed the subject quickly, "I didn't feel anything. There was nothing there." He reached over a bit hesitantly and held her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her palm softly, "I realized that all I really wanted to do was go dancing with you. I think Peggy noticed, but Fury," Steve furrowed his brow a bit, "Fury insisted that I stay." He looked at her for a moment, seemingly nervous as hell, "I realized something while I was there…well actually I already knew it," he was muttering a bit, his deep voice nervous and unsure.

"You realized what? That fonduing with 90 year old women is gross as fuck?"

He gave her a look, and held her hands prisoner in his, "I realized," he looked straight at her, his blue eyes clear and bright, "that I love you Toni. I really do love you." He looked at her joyfully; glad to finally say what he had felt.

She opened her mouth, and then promptly closed it, feeling very much like a fish. He what now? She tried to think of something to say, namely that she loved him too, and she was glad he came to this stunning conclusion because after all, she's Toni Stark, what isn't to love? But she couldn't. As much as she desperately wanted to tell him she loved him, she couldn't bring herself to form the words. She opened her mouth and looked at him a bit panicked, begging him to understand.

Steve smiled at her warmly, and placed a finger against her lips softly, "I understand Toni. You don't need to say it." And she really didn't. He understood. Everything she did for him, _that_ was how she showed her love. Every little suit change and sleepless night fixing his armor, every time she complained for him when he didn't want to admit he was uncomfortable, when she woke up at 5 in the morning to make him breakfast. Toni loved him. He looked at her for a moment, and then pulled her against him softly.

Toni blushed slightly, he was so strong and warm, holding her tightly like he'd never let go. And she hoped he never did, she never wanted Steve to let her go, never wanted to leave his strong arms. His hands rose up and held her face softly; he looked at her so tenderly that Toni thought her reactor was going to shatter. Then he kissed her. His warm lips pressed against hers firmly, his strong arms wound around her waist and anchored her to him tightly. She ran her dexterous fingers thru his soft hair ecstatically and kissed back just as joyfully. If kissing him felt like this, then she was sure she'd never survive sex with him. She waited a bit sadly for him to pull back like he usually did, but he didn't.

He pulled her into his lap a bit breathlessly; completely enthralled by the way she fit against him so perfectly, and cautiously let his tongue trace her lower lip lightly.

She exploded. Everything went blank, and she pulled him to her roughly, desperate for more, just _one_ more little taste of him. He was perfect, sweet and tangy; all the reasons that made loving her country so wonderful, and all the deliciousness of propaganda that flowed off the pages of history books. She slid her tongue against his, and was delighted at his sharp intake of breath. His hands gripped her hips tightly, and she knew she was going to be bruised in the morning. But it was so deliciously wonderful that she really couldn't bring herself to give two shits. She kissed him passionately, with all of herself and more. She couldn't feel anything else but his soft lips moving against hers, and his tongue battling with hers slowly, and somewhat nervously. He'd obviously never done this before, and Toni had never been so glad that he was a quick learner. She couldn't think of anything else, except for how she had never loved propaganda more.

They fell back against her bed wordlessly, mattress catching her, and his muscular body holding her there softly. She ran her hands up his back slowly felt the muscles under her fingers slowly, and left his mouth to kiss along his jaw, tasting him against her lips. He was absolutely perfect, and the small noises he made drove her absolutely fucking crazy.

Steve ran his hands down her sides, and laid them to rest against her hips tightly, God above she was perfect. So small, but so strong. He had no idea how he'd lived without her, how there was somehow no one like her in his time. And he silently thanked God fervently for trapping him in that ice, otherwise he would have never known this explosive love. The passion that she gave off freely to anything she deemed worthy. He pressed against her reflexively when she began to nip his pulse playfully, his eyes widened and he blushed enough to put a cherry to shame when she wrapped her legs around her waist and pressed back.

"Natasha…" she ignored him pointedly and pressed back softly, she could _defiantly_ tell that he was enjoying this, and she knew that he was going to need a very, very cold shower after this. She was reveling in the feelings that were coursing through her; nothing had ever been this good. Nobody had ever said her name that wonderfully, "Natasha…please," his breathless voice whispered in her ear softly, "we can't do this yet…its….not right. We aren't married."

She stopped her ministrations, but kept her legs hooked around his waist firmly. She searched his flushed face for a few seconds, she found shaky resolve in his eyes, and knew that this was one thing he wouldn't let her push. "Alright…" she pulled in a few shaky breaths, "okay, we'll stop."

Surprise was written plainly across his face, and he smiled thankfully at her. Hoping she wasn't mad at him for stopping this. "I'm sorry Natasha." He ran his fingers thru her curly hair slowly, "I just wouldn't feel right doing that to you. You're not just some Dame. You're mine." He said it so possessively, and lovingly that Toni couldn't help but shiver, if he didn't stop talking in that husky voice of his she was going to lose the limited amount of self control she possessed and jump his fine ass.

She nodded slightly, not trusting herself with words. She smiled up at him lovingly, and was amazed at the feeling. This was better than any drug, better than any promise Loki could throw out at her. Captain America, world's first super hero, and most wonderful guy alive loved _her. _He placed his forehead against hers softly, and held her close to him, content to just be next to her.

They stayed like that for a while, intertwined, her fingers running thru his golden hair softly, and his forehead pressed up against hers gently. He got up slowly; moving like it hurt him to be away and sat up gingerly. He held her to him softly and kissed her forehead tenderly, "good night Natasha."

She smiled warmly, and watched him get up and cross the room, once again the confident man she loved. He reached the door and turned back, smiling softly he whispered to her lowly, "Happy anniversary Natasha. I love you." Then he turned off the light, and closed the door. Leaving Toni to her silent ruminations, and wonderful dreams.

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A.N: Some one commented on this, and asked me why I kept saying he smelled like propaganda. And I know it's kind of a weird thing, but there was a meaning behind it. My granfather has an old German WWII uniform that belonged to someone in my family. While I'm not proud that part of my family was on Hitler's side, I am very proud of being German. Even if I completely dissagree with what Germany did. So I wanted to see it, he pulled it out of a trunk for me, and the first thing I noticed was the smell. Odly enough it smelled wonderful to me, this hint of clogne and spices that I could relate with German food. But over all it had this wonderful musky smell. For some reason the first thing my mind could come up with was propaganda. So that's the reasoning behind him smelling like "propaganda." The old spice I threw in because it's been around ofr a while and i looove how it smells :D


	7. Chapter 7

They all sat around the breakfast table quietly, Clint and Natasha talking in some odd language, Thor was eating his 3rd box of pop tarts, Bruce was playing with his cereal, and Toni was comfortable seated in Steve's lap while he read his paper. It was a perfectly good morning.

Then Bruce looked up from his cereal a bit amused, "so Cap," he smirked slightly and waited until Steve looked up from his paper. Catching Toni's eye, his smile widened, "fonduing?"

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A.N: With this, I am done. Thank you all for reading my story,and stay tuned for more Stev and toni. I also have a Bruce and Toni story started if anyone is intrested. :D


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